Climbing is hard; there’s absolutely no doubt about it. We push our bodies and minds to the limit, often in harsh conditions (hot, cold, humid, dusty, windy), getting psyched, disappointed, pumped, gloomy, angry, motivated, determined. We put in blood, sweat, and tears. We are heartbroken; we are ecstatic. Yet we don’t give up. We should be freakin’ proud!
So why do we demand so much from ourselves? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? Why is it so hard to be content even when we don’t send? Could the expectations brewing in our heads be affecting how we climb?
Obviously, this article won’t make you a better climber. Trust me, I wish I had a magic solution to quiet the mind for good and keep you in top physical and mental shape all the time. I don’t; I don’t think anyone has. In fact, I’m writing this in an attempt to better understand my own internal processes and, if you identify with any of the following, to let you know you’re not alone. On the other hand, this article will have done its job if it pushes you to find your sweet spot, manage pressure, release expectations, and get into that state of flow and pure execution more often than before.
Climbing can see right through you
Photo by Vali Aldea
As soon as you hop on the rock, climbing takes the pulse of your physical and mental shape. Yup, climbing can “see” right through you; not just how you’re feeling at the moment, but also how you’ve been in the past days, weeks, or more. It brings to the surface your anxiety, fear, doubt, random thoughts, excitement, lack of trust, expectations, self-judgment, and more.
Therefore, taking our high expectations with us on a climb can lead to disappointment; it can build up frustration, which can be very consuming, self-destructive even. So, what if we left our expectations down on the ground for a change?
Expectations can go both ways – we expect to be successful or we (unconsciously) expect to fail. When we expect neither, we enter this place of emptiness where anything can happen. I wish it didn’t take me this long to realize that I climb my best when I enjoy myself without expectations, self-judgment or pressure, with only lightness in my heart.
Read more >> It’s Not All About the Grades: Climbing Is Personal
It can go well when we least expect it
Photo by Káťa Tran
Looking back, I have some interesting recollections of how I felt before some memorable attempts or sends. Here are some examples:
- It’s the last day of the trip, so I might as well give it my all. My mindset is somewhere in between trying hard because I can’t afford to waste time and being somewhat relaxed because these here are my last shots. That’s it, whatever happens happens. And what do you know – last try best try.
- Getting on my project, I am making silly mistakes where I previously had no issues. I get angry, think that this is not the day. I take a moment to reset, give it one more try just for training’s sake, and I sent.
- Going for an attempt before having the beta dialed in, I improvise and, with a clear mind and no expectations, I am able to find quick solutions. I trust my body, let it do its business, without any “script” – where it should go well, where it can go wrong, where I should fall – and I execute.
- For me, when it’s PMS time, I never know what to expect. Over the last years, I’ve learned to track my menstrual cycle and to look for the cues. I’ve also learned that the cues can be deceiving. So I just take whatever I can get. Even so, I’ve had some epic climbing sessions despite thinking I was too weak that day.
- Sometimes, the conditions suck – too humid, too cold, too hot, some of the holds are wet. But I say fuck it and get on it anyway. Surprisingly, I have damn good try or even make it to the anchors.
- It’s the last try of the day, I can already feel the fatigue creeping in, I know the route demand a lot from me, yet I decide to give it one more go just to refine the beta. I surprise myself with a new highpoint or even a send.
- Then, of course, there are the classic “okay, I’m giving it one last try and I’m gonna clean it” or “I’m just gonna go for a warm-up on it” and I find myself sending.
Why do things go so well when we least expect it? Is it because the ego is distracted or too tired to spiral out of control? Because we don’t care as much about the outcome anymore? Maybe because in the back of our minds we have some valid excuses if things don’t pan out and that helps release expectations?
Why do we expect so much from ourselves?
I know I can send the route and that plays in my head. I know I can mess it up, and that also plays in my head. If I can do it, why am I not sending it already? Why is it taking so long? The more time I spend on it, the more I doubt I’ll ever succeed. I start to question myself, wondering what I’m doing wrong. All sorts of thoughts creep in and I judge myself so harshly.
Instead of being in the moment, I obsess over the outcome and that takes away all the fun.
When things don’t go my way, the ego, with its constant yapping, tells me that I’m not good enough, I suck, I should give up and crawl back to wherever I came from. It’s my mistake for listening to it when I should just tell it to shut the hell up and go on and enjoy myself.
Under pressure
Have you ever felt that pressure weighing you down when climbing with other people, having the impression that you need to perform your best because they’re judging you? If you’re struggling, you believe they’ll think less of you. Whereas if you show them you’re “good”, you’ll have done a great job feeding your expectations and their. That’s something psychologists call the Spotlight Effect and we often experience it in daily life, too. In reality, no one cares.
Moreover, there’s that pressure we put on ourselves to be “good at climbing” all the time. That’s just unrealistic, progress is not linear, we all have our ups and downs, hence this mindset can affect our relationship with climbing.
Climbing, by its nature, comes with a certain amount of pressure. We want to improve, we want to grow, we want to send, and we work very hard towards that, hence the expectations. The key is in managing that pressure and not letting our expectations determine who we are and change the way we view ourselves.
A little bit of pressure CAN give you a boost
It’s a fine line between not having expectations and not demanding anything from yourself. Careful not to fall into that trap. We should want more. It’s the getting sucked up in our own expectations that can harm us and put all that unnecessary pressure on ourselves.
The conditions are good so I should have a good try. My friends are here cheering so I should try hard. It’s the last day so I should give everything. I have it all dialed in so what am I waiting for. The list goes on…
We want to send and we expect to send. After all, that’s the goal and goals come with a certain amount of pressure. What do we do with it? Do we use it to motivate us, do drive us to push harder, or do we let it get to us? Things get in the way, there are lots of ups and downs, and we have to remember that most of climbing is about falling. If you’re not falling, you’re not trying hard enough, you’re still within your comfort zone and there’s no room for progress there.
It’s all so easy to mistake falling for failing. What have we failed at? We tried and that’s all we need to to. That’s the only way to get to know our limitations and what we need to improve. With our eyes constantly on the prize, we overlook the journey. When we can finally enjoy the whole process and celebrate the small wins – figuring out the beta, the highpoints, the training, pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone – we will move the needle.
Read more >> Juggling Rock Climbing and Rope Access
The right mindset CAN shift gears
Photo by Vali Aldea
Climbing is more about the mind game than it is about physical strength. Yes, you do have to be strong, and the harder you want to climb the stronger you need to become, but at the end of the day, physical strength amount to nothing without the right mindset.
I have another interesting recollection hiking up to the crag feeling absolutely miserable. I was depressed (life can hit you sometimes) and I was only going up to get the gear down. When I got to the crag, I sat down, had a coffee, the weather was lovely, the place itself was blissful, and the route was just beautiful. I had to make a decision – sulk or climb? I picked the latter, switched gears, and sent my project that day. My mind was empty. I did not expect anything. All I wanted was a break from my misery, and climbing offered just that. From that moment on, my mental state during that dark period of my life started to improve.
Here’s another example, a strange little incident with some people who started acting like assholes at the crag. Their behavior made me mad just as I was tying in to hop on my project; I could feel that vein twitching in my temple. I went on it regardless, focusing on each individual move as I left the ground, breathing loudly. Not only did I send the route, it was one of my best “performances”. I remember telling myself at one point along the route “you may ruin the vibe at the crag but I’m not gonna let you ruin my day”. I had no expectations, I did not think more than one or two moves ahead, and I somehow managed to turn all that negative energy into something powerful. I was on fire!
You see, the emotions we experience at the crag are very important – they can lift us up or pull us down. For example, I’ve found that a small amount of anger, if channeled in the right direction, gets my engine roaring, it gives me a bit more oomph. It also shifts my attention and quiets the mind. On the other hand, if I’m way too excited or nervous or feel like I need to prove something, I need to take a step back and just chill.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution. All in all, I have to find a way to get out of my head in THAT moment.
Read more >> Finding No Excuses to Work, Train, Climb & Repeat
When everything falls into place
Photo by Wild Adventure Film
Have you ever felt like you’re going to send?
I’ve had (very few) sublime moments when I knew I was going to send. Okay, that feeling does not actually guarantee the send, I’d say I’ve had a 60/40 success rate when that happened.
It’s hard to describe it – I tie in, I breathe, I get on and after a few moves I know it’s game on. Everything flows. The mind is empty, there’s only the next move, so much control in my hands and feet, I enjoy it, it doesn’t feel as hard anymore (even though it still is). I am aware of every movement, each position, everything’s in sync. It’s like I’m both the actor and the spectator. AND I have no expectations, only that serene feeling that everything is just as it should be.
Have I learned anything at all?
Photo by Wild Adventure Film
I’ve had many days at the crag moping around because I couldn’t climb like I wanted to. In the past, I would let these “bad days” get to me. Instead of taking things as they were, getting over it fast, I would linger in self-pity, which would only continue to pull me down. No one cares about my “good” or “bad”. My ego is the only one that has expectations and feels pressure where there is none.
I’ve been climbing for a while and, for most of this time, there was something missing. I struggled to find those missing pieces of the puzzle, blaming it on training, nutrition, weight, and all sorts of things, only to find that the answer, for me at least, was in my mind game.
What is different now?
I still have moments of disappointment, doubt, shame, self-pity, self-victimization, drama, feeling like I wanna crawl under a rock and disappear. I still cry sometimes when I don’t send. The difference now compared to a few years ago is that these moments are fleeting.
I take more care of myself and my emotions, I’m kinder to myself, I take breaks from projects when I start to get too obsessed over them. I approach climbing with a lot more confidence and ease, enjoying the whole process a lot more, regardless of the grade. I find motivation in how hard a climb feels rather than in the number. All in all, I have a lot more fun. I’ve finally come to realize that each hold squeezed for an extra second, every movement initiated while desperately pumped, every step higher above the bolt, every whipper, and desperate move past my limit eventually pays off.
No, I haven’t completed the whole puzzle yet. Perhaps I never will. But at the very least, I can feel it coming together and that gives me a sense of peace.
*Cover photo by Vali Aldea
